By Genoa Barrow | OBSERVER Senior Staff Writer

Black love is beautiful and despite popular belief, it does last, maturing and growing into something spectacular. 

While Valentine’s Day has come and gone, Black History Month provides the opportunity to continue The OBSERVER’s conversation with area couples about the power of Black love and modeling healthy relationships for their families and the wider community. Our third featured couple is Phyllis McDonald Johnson and Keith Johnson, new grandparents, who have been together for 36 years.

‘She Is My Queen’

February is a special time for Phyllis McDonald Johnson and Keith Johnson. His birthday is celebrated in February, as is one of their two sons, and their daughter made them first-time grandparents earlier this month.

For the Johnsons, love is deeply rooted in family. It’s the glue that has held them together for three decades. They both hail from Memphis, Tennessee, and their Southern roots and sensibilities have served them well. The two met as teens working at Bojangles, a Cajun fried chicken chain restaurant. She was about to turn 16 and worked the cash register. He was 17 and was a cook.

“He didn’t say anything to me and I didn’t say anything to him,” Phyllis Johnson recalls of that time.

Eventually they did speak and got to know each other, discovering they had a lot in common and that he was already friends with a close cousin of hers. He wanted to get married, but she wanted to wait and they dated for seven years before saying “I do” on June 17, 1995.

“We’ve always remained loyal to each other, but I think our family background and the dynamics of the way we were raised, and our parenting styles from our parents were kind of the same and aligned in the same way. I think that’s why we lasted so long,” Phyllis says.

“Both our parents had the same kind of family values,” she continues. “That was important to us. Our family was always a support system for us, when we were growing up, and when we started dating each other, we just became a support system for each other. That was the foundation of us having this longevity.”

Keith credits his stepfather for teaching him valuable love lessons.

“My mother and father divorced when I was very young, but my stepdad stepped in and became that man that I looked up to,” he says. “He told me at an early age that family comes first and to make sure you take care of your family. When I met my wife, my girlfriend at the time, I knew that I had been put together to give that type of love to someone.”

For Phyllis, it was seeing her paternal grandparents demonstrate love that has had a lasting impression. The elder couple was married for more than 60 years, only parting when her grandfather passed away. Her grandmother lived to be 98.

“I saw love and togetherness with my grandparents and how relationships should work,” Phyllis says. “My grandfather was there to make sure she was always taken care of, her and the family. That was number one.”

Having seen what was possible, the two wanted nothing less from their own relationships. Phyllis says Keith has consistently delivered on his vows to love and cherish her from the beginning.

“I saw that early on and that kind of reminded me of what I saw with my grandmother and my grandfather,” she says.

“Young people ask all the time, ‘How do you guys love each other for so long?, I say, ‘Y’all have got love confused. Y’all think it’s about hugging and kissing each other all the time.That’s not what love is all about.’ It’s about being able to stay true to each other. Being able to understand that things aren’t always going to be right… but you stick with it and you don’t let go. When times get tough, you don’t run away from your problems, just stick with it and you’ll figure it out,” – Keith Johnson.

The couple grew up together, literally and figuratively.

“We were still young kids and we were still learning about life,” Keith says. “All the bumps and the rough road and stuff, we went through it together. When things were tough, she was there for me and when things were good, she was there for me.

“That word trust is thrown around a lot, but I trust my wife with my heart because she’s always been there for me and always had that encouragement and I encouraged her when she had tough times,” he continues.

The couple struggled at the beginning, but things got better.

“We’ve always supported each other,” Phyllis says.

When she gave birth to his three children, each time, he was the one who got up in the middle of the night with the babies, so she could rest. Later, he was the sole breadwinner for 10 years so she could go back to school and start a new career.

“All that time, my husband got up every morning and went to work as we snored in the bed,” Phyllis lovingly recounts. “My dad would call and say, ‘You know you’re blessed, right?’ That’s what he has always done for our family.”

“She is my queen,” Keith says. “I call her Queen Boo.”

Phyllis recalls the day one of his employees saw the endearment pop up on his phone.

“She said, ‘After that I had no question about who runs things.’ It’s not about who runs things around the house, it’s about the respect he has for me.”

Phyllis let Keith know from day one that she wasn’t going to accept anything less from him. 

“That really drove me closer to her,” Keith says. “Because as a man, you really want to have a woman that has a really strong presence about herself … when you walk about a strong Black woman, I have a strong Black woman and she’s been very strong throughout everything.”

His strength is equally attractive, Phyllis says.

“The way he’s always treated his family, put his family before anything else, before himself, that’s the best thing I can say that I love most about my husband,” Phyllis says.

Keith speaks reverently about Phyllis and how she has elevated him.

“I always say that she made me a better husband, a better father, by doing that and being straight-up with me and telling me what I wasn’t doing right. I had to accept that. Sometimes at a young age you kind of buck a little bit. I looked myself in the mirror and said, ‘You know something, she was right.’”

The Johnsons’ love has evolved and they’ve entered another stage of their relationship as empty-nesters. Since their kids are all grown, they’ve been traveling the globe to exotic locales like Dubai and living their best lives. She even has learned to embrace his beloved sports, jumping on flights to attend Lakers and Cowboys games on their hometurfs. Travel is the gift they’ve vowed to give themselves every Christmas.

“It’s our time now,” Phyllis says. “We’ve been working hard to make sure everybody was taken care of. We want to make sure we have some time for ourselves to make sure we can make some memories for ourselves, before we can’t make these memories anymore.”

Editor’s Note: This is the third of four articles highlighting local Black couples and their love stories. For bonus content on those featured in “Relationship Goals,” visit SacObserver.com for special video presentations by OBSERVER Visuals Editor Louis Bryant III.

This is the second of four stories about local Black couples. For bonus content on those featured in “Relationship Goals,” Special video presentations created by Visuals Editor Louis Bryant III.