By Robert J. Hansen | OBSERVER Staff Writer
“I believed this man loved me and I loved him,” said Emily Sanders about the man who turned her into a sex worker.
Sanders said she became a sex trafficking victim the way too many young women are: by someone they are in a relationship with.
Sanders, 40, was abandoned by her father as a child, then was sexually assaulted as a preteen – events that set her on a path of dysfunction and self-destruction. She went from an honor roll student to a habitual truant and dropped out of Hiram Johnson High School.
By the time she was 16, Sanders was married and had two kids. They separated shortly after their second child was born because she said the relationship was toxic and turned abusive.
Sanders said in her youth she was promiscuous, would binge drink and party hard. Nonetheless, she was never prepared for the street life of pimping, drugs and the struggle.
She began selling herself for sex in 2016 when she was 32 years old. Her trafficker abandoned her on the streets when she was eight and half months pregnant.
Sanders found out later that everything she thought she knew about him was a lie.
“I never gained while I was with him, I only continued to lose. I became so bonded toand dependent on this man that I would comply with his most grotesque demands, justify everything he did and convince myself that he loved me,” Sanders said.
Sanders was often put in situations that made her feel unsafe which happened so frequently that it was difficult to recall when she was most afraid for her life.
“When living in danger all the time, there’s no picking out the most dangerous situation,” Sanders said. “You’re always living in survival mode.”
She said she often, as many victims of sex trafficking do, suffered from sleep deprivation and used drugs at the encouragement of their trafficker – she said sheused as a form of control.
Sanders added she was constantly forced to do things that she didn’t want to do, and was under constant surveillance by her trafficker.
“If you had told me years ago that that would have been me, I would have said there was no way in hell,” Sanders said.
Sanders, now 40, said she found relief at Bishop Gallegos Maternity Home in 2019 and was there for about a year before moving into transitional housing.”
Bishop Gallegos is a non-denominational home and has been a safe haven for the most vulnerable members in the Sacramento area since 1992, according to its website.
“We provide pregnant women in need of shelter, food, safety, comfort, and support during their pregnancy and for a short time afterward,” its website says.
Paulette Wyllie, who has been with Bishop Gallegos for five years, helped Sanders pull her life back together.
“She was in a bad way when she first got here,” Wyllie said. “She was really quiet and withdrawn but cautiously optimistic.”
Bishop Gallegos has helped nearly 2,000 women and babies since its inception.
“It took me a few weeks of being there to come out of shock,” Sanders said.
Sanders said at Bishop Gallegos, she was surrounded by women with lived experiences who cared. The therapy she received at Bishop Gallegos was crucial in beginning her healing process.
“I stayed connected to that support system even after I left. I became determined to create a better life for herself, her newborn and her other two children,” Sanders said. “Without healing you can’t move forward.”
In 2021 Sanders founded her nonprofit, Connect 2 Change, an organization supporting women who want to escape sex trafficking.
“The women always say how grateful they are to have somebody that they can relate to.” Sanders said.
Connect 2 Change offers immediate shelter and support to women fleeing sex trafficking in the Greater Sacramento area. Through collaboration with community partners, we connect our survivors to essential services such as counseling, medical care, education, employment, and programs that assist in navigating them to permanent housing.
Wyllie said it was amazing to see the growth that Sanders made through Bishop Gallegos.
“She was really a dream to work with and she just really blossomed,” Wyllie said. “Now wanting to extend that hand with Connect 2 Change is a wonderful thing to see.”
Sanders said that her organization has helped about five women with a place of refuge to escape human trafficking.
“I really broke free with sharing my story and sharing my life experiences so others don’t have to and being the voice for those who are silent and unable to speak,” Sanders said.