OPINION – I was sitting in my room and suddenly my youngest comes in and asks to hang out with her friends. Earlier I had told this girl that she did not need to ask me to do anything until her chores were done. Chores done? No! I reminded her that she needed to complete her household chores before asking me to do anything.

With a sense of urgency on her part to have a confirmed answer from me, she began to speak with a whine. I felt myself coming undone and at that moment I said to myself, “All is well.”

I find it amazing how that phrase allows me to “interrupt my crazy.” Before saying that phrase, “All is well,” I was considering getting up, quieting her, slamming my door to my room, locking it, and refusing to let her to go anywhere for choosing to disengage me from me. Choosing to give myself the opportunity, the gap, to respond and not react, I am able to stay connected to me and not allow the circumstance (i.e. children choosing to “smell themselves” (act out), someone saying or doing something that disagrees with me, feeling overwhelmed, etc.) to disconnect me from myself.

When I disconnect from myself, I feel that I impulsively do things that, in the end, do not give me joy. Instead, I start to feel pain in my left shoulder leading to an ache in my neck; I’m not happy and I don’t see it working out for me. I see the circumstance being in control and I am overcome by the struggle. I seem to have a defeated mindset and everything is so complicated, the circumstance has me stumped.

“All is well” is a simple statement but not available without me choosing it. How do I do that you ask? Practice, practice, and practice? My children give me the biggest bang for my theory. Each time I witness their discord with me, I get the chance to practice. Those situations have, in my past, caused me to disconnect from my joy and react. “All is well” gives me the awareness that nothing has to be done in that exact moment when I don’t have the answer I get to rest and wait.

Circumstances will always show up in your life and should you choose to be controlled by them, you may experience happiness at times — yet you will be without joy. Joy is the internal understanding that “All is well.” Your feeling of connection to yourself and your peace is not determined by what is going on around you, to you, or because of you (your ego).

Joy allows for positive self-talk and the absence of negative self-talk. Every day is a new opportunity for growth and awareness that keeps you in control of your experiences. Practice joy!