OPINION – I am forever having to go to battle with one of my children to let go of talking back to me, without me as a last resort, choosing to remove her vocal cords! It definitely has a lot to do with respecting my role as the parent that encourages me to assure that talking back never becomes a habit of children. In the midst of this challenge I am discovering ways to incorporate a win-win for the both of us.
I understand that we as human beings have this desire to feel heard. It is part of our growth and I get that. Yet, it is important that children understand the reason respect, refraining from talking back in this circumstance, is crucial towards the journey throughout their lives.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, feeds the enhancement of the parent’s ability to develop his/her child and provide a secure environment. The family system is set in place with appropriate boundaries that allow for growth in each other’s role.
This is the win-win approach to me. No one loses. In the heat of discord the child may benefit to refrain from talking back but taking appropriate notes for reference when all is well and the time for discussion is arranged. As a team, each role has the openness to talk when all is well on how to strengthen the team in order to beat this game of life. Such a time of discussion may benefit from being timed and a safety plan with appropriate ground rules similar to that of a conference that occurs in the meeting room. WIN WIN!!!!!
There are some children that do suffer with the problem of talking back to either the mother or father. Sometimes the child will have troubles talking back to the mother more than the father and vice versa. I believe for the child to learn that talking back is entirely disrespectful there has to be discipline, and not small things such as no going outside. Things like taking away time from there social media, nowadays kids can’t get enough of social media whether it is facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc., those are ways to get a child to understand that what they’re doing is not acceptable. I know when my parents threaten to take away my social media I get my act together, because things like facebook keep people connected and children love to be connected. There is a “win win ” when trying to discipline a child in the sense of not talking back, is when you get to know your child. You start to understand what small things or big things can either confuse or anger your child.