TIANA BURSE: Who’s Leading Who?

sac-button-tianaOPINION – To want more or not to want more that is the question.

In life we go through a motion where the “Rush Hour of Life” takes us by storm, which at times includes high winds, rocky waters and what can sometimes feel like a ship wreck. As if life isn’t challenging enough feeling like a party of one, in a lonely relationship of two can lead us down a path of searching for more than what is in front of us.

With nature’s law saying loud and clear that men are the “control takers” and remain the head and not the tail, I couldn’t help but to wonder: What do we do when our heads are not willing to lead the way?

There comes a point in most relationships where our relations move into the opposite directions. He becomes a centerpiece in the living room that doesn’t want to move and she comes crashing down realizing that her wants have become stronger that her needs.

I began to realize that as women, there are certain things that matter in life; security in our relationships, communication, trust and the chart topper, financial security. As I think back on all the men I had been with, in which all of them were a part of the “haves” of society — they had money, limelight, recognition and the world at their disposal — yet in still my mind couldn’t help but to wonder…was theirs mine and mine theirs?

It dawned on me that my answer was determined by what I had left after we parted ways. I was left with what I brought into the relationship; which included my mind, body, soul and an empty bank account.

And knowing this, I had to ask myself: Have we as women suppressed our goals and desires simply because the man in the relationship is satisfied with what he has created for himself? And if our men are living a low-risk, low-income lifestyle what do we do when our ideas for a better way of life is shattered by our significant other because they quickly judge an opportunity as a danger zone instead of a way out?

At what point are we willing to either persuade our men over pillow talk that having more is OK; or end our relationships and become confident enough that we have the confidence to attract the one who will be our supportive partner?

I had to think. At the end of the day are we living a life of “separate togetherness” or are we simply in a partnership auditioning for the leading role?
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By Tiana Burse