OPINION – During trying times of discovering appropriate family rules, each member of the structure may benefit to have a sense of ownership of the rules being implemented. In the skill of listening, the parent has the cleverness of paying attention to his/her teen while channeling into his/her Higher Power. Many parents have expressed the kinship of man and God when relating to their relationships with their teens.
A conversation with the teens’ parents is an opportunity for the teen to enhance his/her life management skills and self-discovery in a safe environment supported by his/her parent(s). Increased opportunities to talk within an authentic setting among the teens’ parent(s) appears to bring hope and seems to minimize the dependence of the external environment the teen may have sought.
It is of value to listen to teens as they express their desires to feel a sense of self-discovery in the center of their parents’ fear. It seems important to establish the willingness of the teen to encourage the acknowledgement of all influences, including that of one’s own parent(s). With such an inclusion of their parents, there appears to be a balance of both self-wisdom and the astuteness of their parent(s). Choosing wisdom deserves both acknowledgement and praise.
Not all parents understand their children as well as they think. Some children aren’t as open with their parents as they hope. Sometimes it’s to benefit themselves, the child. Their parents may see this as their children going behind their backs and they begin to lose trust. There is no need to lose trust. Your child is trying to find themselves on their own and learn how to make good choices on their own, and yeah, they will make some bad ones. That’s a way of life. After you fall, you get back up and try again. Parents shouldn’t lose trust or start to get nervous for their child. Parents should be understanding and try to help their child but not try to get extra involved.
By Alondra Thompson
Alondra L. Thompson, LCSW specializes with those dealing with unexpected birth outcomes. Ms. Thompson’s interventions include Trauma Resiliency Model and Motivational Interviewing. She works at a community clinic in Yolo County, and has a private practice in Sacramento. As a member of the Multicultural Counseling and Consulting Associates (MCCA), she provides consultation services to community-based organizations, schools, universities, and other public and private institutions.